IS ENM FOR ME?
Discover Your Ideal Relationship Format
Get instant access to a comprehensive decision-making framework designed for couples considering ethical non-monogamy. Stop second-guessing and start making informed choices about your relationship's future.
GET MY WORKBOOK FOR $19.99
You can't un-ring this bell
Your partner brought up opening the relationship. Or maybe you did. Either way, the question is out there now, hanging between you like a weight you can't ignore. You're curious, maybe even excited, but also terrified of making a decision that could destroy everything you've built together.
So you're stuck. You've been "thinking about it" for weeks, maybe months. You read articles at 3am. You lurk in ENM forums hoping someone's story will magically tell you what to do. But every piece of advice contradicts the last one. Some people say it saved their relationship. Others say it ended theirs. And you're no closer to knowing if this is right for you.
Here's what's really happening: you're trying to make one of the biggest relationship decisions of your life without a framework. You don't know what questions to ask yourself. You don't know what factors actually matter. And you definitely don't know how to tell the difference between normal fear and legitimate red flags that mean you shouldn't do this.
Meanwhile, the uncertainty is eating at your relationship right now. The conversations feel tense. One of you feels pressured. The other feels dismissed. You're both walking on eggshells, afraid that pushing too hard in either direction will cause permanent damage.
Most couples waste 3-6 months in this paralysis, damaging their connection while they waffle. Some jump in without proper assessment and implode within weeks. Others say no out of fear and spend years wondering "what if." Both paths suck because neither involves actually figuring out what's right for your specific relationship.
What you'll get
This workbook gives you 38 diagnostic exercises that cut through the noise. You'll assess your relationship's readiness, identify your real motivations (versus the ones you think you should have), explore different ENM formats to see what actually fits your lifestyle, and make a confident decision together. No more endless circular discussions that go nowhere.
For the price of two coffees, you get clarity that could save you years of regret and tens of thousands in therapy. Most couples report finally feeling aligned and decisive within one week of completing the workbook.
What's Inside
- Take the 27-question readiness assessment that reveals if your relationship has the foundation for ENM (most couples are shocked by what they discover)
- Identify your true motivations using guided reflection exercises that separate genuine desire from pressure, FOMO, or trying to fix existing problems
- Explore 8 different ENM relationship formats with real-life scenarios so you understand what each one actually looks like day-to-day
- Evaluate your communication skills, conflict resolution abilities, and emotional capacity with honest self-assessment tools
- Create a decision-making timeline and next steps, whether that's moving forward carefully, working on your foundation first, or choosing monogamy with confidence
Table of Contents
Seven chapters and four appendices. A step-by-step decision framework, not a sales pitch for ENM.
What ENM Is
- The landscape of ethical non-monogamy
- Exercise: your ENM orientation assessment
What You Think You Know
- Common myths and beginner misconceptions
Why You Want This Matters
- Healthy vs. shaky motivations
- Exercise: what's pulling you toward ENM?
How Do I Know If I Truly Want This?
- Exercise: your history as a mirror
- Exercise: “So, is ENM for me?”
The Power of Compatibility
- Where you and your partner align — and where you don't
- Exercise: values clarification
What If I Am Not Ready Yet?
- Test: is your relationship ready?
- What to strengthen first
Is It Worth It?
- Weighing the decision with the Cartesian Square
Extras & Resources
- But what if my person isn't actually ethical?
- Relationship audit through film
- Recommended resources & research references
Questions Couples Ask Before Buying
Straight answers, including the ones that might talk you out of it.
I'm not sure we're ready to open our relationship. Shouldn't I wait before buying this?
Not being sure is precisely the state this workbook is designed for. It's a decision framework, not a manual for people who've already decided.
Waiting doesn't usually produce clarity; it produces months of the same spiral between curiosity and dread. The exercises give that spiral somewhere structured to go.
Is this going to try to talk us into non-monogamy?
No. The book's own closing standard is: whatever you decide, decide it with clarity. It examines shaky motivations as hard as good ones, and includes a whole chapter on what to do if you're not ready.
There's even an appendix called “But what if my person isn't actually ethical?”; this is a book that will happily talk you out of ENM if the signs point that way.
My partner brought ENM up and I'm honestly scared. Will this help me?
Yes, and you should work through it alone first. That's how it's designed: you need to know where you stand before you can have the conversation honestly.
The fear that opening up will destroy what you have is treated as real, not dismissed. Exercises like Your History as a Mirror help you separate what you actually fear from what you actually want.
Can't I just read free articles and Reddit threads instead?
You can collect plenty of opinions for free: anecdotes, horror stories, evangelism. What you can't get from a feed is a structured self-assessment that's about you.
Seven chapters of exercises, a relationship-readiness test, and a values-clarification framework produce an answer that's yours, not the loudest commenter's.
What if we do the whole workbook and decide ENM isn't for us?
Then it worked. “No, and here's why” is a successful outcome; it's the couples who skip that step and jump in unprepared who pay the expensive version of the lesson.
And if the workbook itself disappoints you, there's a 30-day money-back guarantee either way.
Verified